In true Millennial form, our kids have moved back home ONLY to regroup so that they can move back to Seattle as soon as humanly possible. I will say two things about this:
#1 - I have loved having them here.
#2 - They have done a great job of leveraging their time with us so that they can live their lives the way they only dream about right now.
Millennials, as we all know, are their own people. G&J are incredibly hard workers, smart with their money, and creative in their ability to adapt to their circumstances.
Plus, they love their dog.
One of the perks Geoff has brought into our home is... wait for it... rap music. He loves the stuff.
In general, I hate the stuff.
Let's face it, I'm not really in that target market. What words I can understand, start with the letter "F". Anyone who knows me knows that I have ZERO problems with words that start with "F". (Have you read Juxtaposed? My pastor read it, and made the comment to me, "Daisy, I hate the F-word. I do. I've just never seen it used so well!") So, I'm pretty hard to offend in that regard. Even so, what rap content I am able to understand is pretty rough stuff.
But I'm not here to talk about what's wrong with rap. Quite the opposite. I'm convinced that rap music can help to make the world a better place.
Here's why:
At first, I was straight up resistant to it. My mind was set. The lyrics, by and large, were nothing short of repugnant to me. I saw no value in them and considered most of it completely at odds with what I hold dear in life.
However, because I have a strong desire to understand my son and he is important to me, I decided to listen with an open mind as to how he has reconciled much of this content with the morals we raised him with.
(Sheesh. You teach kids to form their own opinions and become independent thinkers apart from you, and it seems like a really good idea at the time, but I'll be darned if they don't form their own opinions and become independent thinkers apart from you.)
As Geoff began to unravel the mystery to me of the merit of rap music, I began to realize some things:
#2 - Triple entendres are even cooler, and Kanye is King of the Puns. Yeah, the guy who got up and interrupted Taylor Swift--who I think is adorable and talented and legit even though I'm not really in her target market either. SELF-CHECK: Why am I quick to embrace her interminable break-up songs but quick to reject Kanye's material?
That could get really sticky, right? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
So, after THAT tidbit of self-reflection, I started really listening to Kanye and the others (who I couldn't name in a million years) and paying attention as Geoff talked me through these lyrics and where some of these artists were coming from.
Which brings me to #3 - It was like I live in one world, and there are entire groups of people who live in a completely different one.
Except we don't.
There's one world. And it's not "me" and "them".
It's just "us'. Only us.
And #4 - The more I listened to these lyrics and the more I learned about the artists who wrote them, the more compassion I had for their concerns, their anger, and their striving, as well as the value they placed on themselves and others.
These artists have voices. Like I do. All of us want to be heard.
I also realized some things about my kid. I realized that he did develop an empathy for other people--just like we taught him--and he has a brand of mercy that was even more embracing than the one I had. Because I had a mind that was already made up about a genre of music of which I had no knowledge and had no desire to know and, therefore, constructed an entire paradigm that all rap music was nothing but garbage; and I justified that paradigm with a wave of my hand. I knew I was right and that was that. Geoff's mind was more open. Even though there is content he does not and would not personally abide, he has developed an ability to listen to pretty much anyone who has something to say. He doesn't judge. He listens. He may or may not agree with a person's message, but he seeks to understand. In so doing, he finds the value in others who come from a completely different place, and he understands that their journeys are important. He acknowledges and respects that.
And he can't lay off an entendre either.
Do you think that's what the world is missing today? Because who among us right now is withholding judgment until we can trudge through our differences and truly understand another human who comes from a totally different place than we do with totally different experiences and trials and victories and regrets? Do the white girls who used to be skinny and sing and play the guitar justify ourselves as we gravitate toward the other white girls who are skinny (for now) and sing and play the guitar? While we instantaneously reject those we mistakenly and shortsightedly believe we have nothing in common with?
Do we even think we need to justify ourselves?
Am I making sense here?
Because I'm looking at this picture of my daughter-in-law and my grandpuppy right now, and I'm in awe of how two entities that aren't even the same species can be so in tune with one another and create an understanding that would rival any human relationship on the planet.
Let me tie the bow on this for you: Go out into your world and purposefully and intentionally create solid relationships with people who are NOT your race, religion, or political party. Find someone in a group of people that you find 'less than palatable' and really make it work with them.
Your first step would be to shut up.
Seriously. SHUT UP! And listen.
Like I did.
Put your judgments on the back burner and seek first to understand. Don't try to make them something different than they are.
Just let them rap.
Feel their rhythm.
Tap your foot with the beat of who they are.
Look beyond their lyrics that you find offensive. Don't let yourself get uptight. Just STOP and chill the hell out.
Stop arguing with them in your head. Don't try to rewrite their words.
Hum along.
Memorize a line or two from their score.
Sing along with them at the bridge.
And clap for them when that particular song ends.
No one is asking YOU to be a rapper. Nobody is asking you to be any different than you are.
Unless you're judgmental and dismissive--change that. Do it now.
See if you don't stop sounding like a clanging cymbal. See if you aren't more patient and kind. See if you're just a little less boastful about everything you think you know. See if you're not as easily angered. You may just put down that list of wrongs you've been keeping track of. Just see.
See if you start rejoicing with the truth a little more often. See if you're a tad more protective of those you used to resent. See if you're a bit more inclined to trust that God holds their journey as well and more willingly hope for good things to come their way. See if you can persevere.
Because love never fails.
And if we don't start giving one another a chance to be heard, then we've already failed.
We are all here for a reason on a particular pathYou don't need a curriculum to know that you are part of the mathCats think I'm delirious, but I'm so damn seriousThat's why I expose my soul to the globe, the worldI'm trying to make it better for these little boys and girlsI'm not just another individual, my spirit is a part of thisThat's why I get spiritual, but I get my hymns from HimSo it's not me, it's He that's lyricalI'm not a miracle, I'm a heaven-sent instrumentMy rhythmatic regimen navigates melodic notes for your soul and your mentalThat's why I'm instrumental
~Kanye West
Daisy Rain Martin is an author, speaker, advocate, and educator as well as a founding member of The Flying M-Inklings Writing Group. She lives with her husband, Sean-Martin, in the beautiful state of Idaho and teaches English and Literature during the school year to the best 7th graders the world over. Daisy spends her summers writing, speaking, researching, creating, gardening, and canning.
Hope Givers: Hope is Here, is the sequel, of sorts, to her comedic, spiritual memoir, Juxtaposed: Finding Sanctuary on the Outside, which was Christopher Matthews #1 top selling book in 2012. She has also written a free e-book for anyone who has or is currently being sexually abused called, If It’s Happened to You.
Please follow her weekly blog, SATURDAISIES, which addresses a plethora of current issues including child advocacy, all things hilarious, and matters of the heart. She would love for you to join the Rainy Dais Community by friending her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
No comments:
Post a Comment