No Such Thing as a 'Safe Zone' (With Holly Chamberlain)

Actor Anthony Geary (Luke of the famed “Luke and Laura” on General Hospital) said once that he lied a lot as a child and believed his lies, which he thought was a natural step into acting.

We silly humans believe our own lies and go out into the world acting as if they are true. Here are some doozies that we tell ourselves all the time:

I have good karma so nothing really bad will happen to me.

I stand up for what is right, so my life will unfold the way I want it to.

God knows I’ve suffered enough in my life, so I can expect only good things from here on out.

How I wish it were all true.

Over a crisp Sauvignon Blanc, Holly Chamberlain and I have wished wistfully that we could take these misnomers to the bank.

We can’t.

I’ve read The Secret and The Power of Positive Thinking. I can lean pretty far into the thinking that a positive mental attitude makes a huge difference in one’s life. I believe in believing. A person’s thoughts and paradigms totally guide their actions and, consequently, shapes his or her life.

That doesn’t mean they’re not gonna keel over and die one day.

Or love someone who does.

Or get divorced.

Or get in an accident.

Or lose her job.

The possibilities are endless, really.

But you know what?

We can overcome our obstacles and move past those life-events that threaten to lay us low. We can.

We can do hard things.

We tell our children:

Stand up for what is right! Even if you are standing alone!

Here’s what we fail to tell them: Stand up for what is right! There’s a really strong possibility that you will be:

Dismissed

Ignored

Ridiculed

Diminished

Patronized

And those are the easy ones. Here are some harder ones:

Threatened with a lawsuit

Threatened with bodily harm

Threatened six ways to Sunday

Why do we think that if we stand up for what is right, we won’t be opposed. Standing up for what is right will likely get you in all kinds of glorious trouble. But you know what?

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We can.

Here’s one more really rough reality:

Even if I’ve been abused, abandoned, maligned… I can still lose more.

This is a harsh. Sometimes we think that we get some sort of pass if we’ve already been through the ringer. Holly will tell you that’s not true. I can tell you that’s not true. This is an excerpt from my next book, Hope Givers:

Hope Givers do not abide in enduring and impenetrable happiness. The pendulum does not always swing our way. We, too, are subject to the ­­­quick hands, the gods, and all the wrong days. We have terrified eyes. We panic. We bargain with God. We do our fair share of wailing, and there are times that we, ourselves, are brought low even in the midst of doing God’s good work. But we go on to hope another day because we know that we know that we know that Love is forever and that one day, every tear will be wiped from our eyes.

Until then, this is what we cling to: as Aeschylus wrote centuries ago, “Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon our hearts until, in our despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.”

Now you can think that this post and, in fact, this whole series is just depressing — unless you simply choose to embrace this, knowing that Moments do pass, the good ones and the bad ones. Life ebbs and flows. This moment, good or bad does not define us and does not define our lives. Breathe in and breathe out and know that we are truly driving the bus in our pursuit with God to heal us and make us whole. This whole series has not been designed to bum you out — it is designed to build resilience in you! The statements that have been unpacked this month:

Moments Pass — Even the Good Ones

No One is Coming

There’s No Such Thing as a Safe Zone

… are an encouragement and a source of HOPE!

So, I bless you with peace. I bless you with joy. I bless you with encouragement and HOPE!

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Daisy Rain Martin is an author, speaker, advocate, and educator as well as a founding member of The Flying M-Inklings Writing Group. She lives with her husband, Sean-Martin, in the beautiful state of Idaho and teaches English and Literature during the school year to the best 7th graders the world over. Daisy spends her summers writing, speaking, researching, creating, gardening, and canning.

Hope Givers: Hope is Here, is the sequel, of sorts, to her comedic, spiritual memoir, Juxtaposed: Finding Sanctuary on the Outside, which was her publisher's (Christopher Matthews) #1 top selling book in 2012. She has also written a free e-book for anyone who has or is currently being sexually abused called, If It’s Happened to You, which appears in its entirety in Hope Givers. Please follow her weekly blog, SATURDAISIES, which addresses a plethora of current issues including child advocacy, all things hilarious, and matters of the heart. She would love for you to join the Rainy Dais Community by friending her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

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